Re Paul I know how not to pi$$ her off; Paul, break some egg shells.
It seems that if I succeed in keeping the eggshells intact, she replaces them with soap bubbles. And that my friend is part of the problem. What is she going to replace the soap bubbles once you learn how to walk on them? What I am saying, it's a no win situation. The more you do the more she wants.
Just because you think of divorce, doesn't mean you or she is there. I see lots of potential individual conflicts that could get the issues out in the open. IE don't worry the ride to a potential D will be short, most people hang in there longer than they expected.
I know in my case, I didn't make much progress when I was afraid and walking on eggshells.
I say be honest in a caring way, but don't worry so much about the eggshells. Think of the eggshells as an unlimited supply, breaking some is not going to mean the end of the R.
