I sometimes suggest counselling to W. Once I suggested a Marriage Encounter weekend to W and her answer was, "What and spend a weekend with other couples in trouble?" We did see a Japanese counsellor once, but she has since retired.
GEL, regarding the cultural thing: I do know that the ideal Japanese husband is confident and in control - W admits that one of the reasons she came to the US is that she probably couldn't handle one of them. I am trying to do a bit less whining. I would love to talk to Japanese people or to people married to Japanese about the things we talk about here, but the forums I have found on the internet are not that informative, and it's not something easily brought up in live conversation.
Yes, so I'm still stuck. But I was pretty happy for the 4 weeks she was gone before I went back to Japan with her. I'm tempted to let her transfer to Japan. I'm just amazed that she would consider such a move, given how much time it would take her away from the kids and me.
