Also, the past is not indication of the future. Always remember that.
Save your money. Money has been a big anxiety for me in the past, and sometimes, the more I have, the more I feel I need. But guess what, it's all just fear. But once I access things calmly, the fear tends to get less noisy too.
I did say that fear was a battle for me, still is, but hey, I'm winning this war big time! Big time...so there's hope.
And yes, I grew up poor in a third-world country and now, I've quiet a bit in comparison. But if I listened to my fears and be afraid of being poor and helpless like I was in my childhood, it would be unbearable.
Also, here's a thought. Let go of saving R with H. SHIFT the focus to YOURSELF. Work through your fears and H will notice. Trust me on this. Please. I was in the exact place you are 2 years ago. And MY FEARS was what was causing my exH to be MORE FEARFUL. Also remember that FEAR is contagious. You pass it on. So if not for anyone else, do it for your S4 (sounds so cute!). Because if you do not contain your fears now, you will pass them on to your little boy.
My own mother passed on her fears to me. That's what I got in my legacy from her: fear, worry, anxiety, and anger... I'll be damned if I pass that on to my child. That's what ultimately motivates me to overcome my fears. When I have kids someday, I don't want to have to tell them, "Mommy didn't do that, because she was afraid." Fear breeds fear Optimist.
Take care. And write down your thoughts on a piece of paper before you see your therapist and keep it in your hands when you enter their room. Then state your goals and "let go"... No one is here to judge you. Let go darling.
Big time...so there's hope.
