I made quick work of finding a therapist. That's because there is only one within 100 mile radius that takes my insurance, and she is only in town on Wednesdays. So I have an appointment today at 10:00am.
Thanks for being honest about your fear. I would like to just get rid of mine, but didn't think it was possible. And it sounds like it isn't from your post. That is much of my issue with passed disappointment with therapy. I'm looking for a permanent solution, and there are none. Everything is a constant battle. Just saying that makes me feel tired and ready to give up! My life is already three or four constant battles-trying to effect change in my R with H, trying to be a reasonably good single parent to S4, trying to lose weight and get in shape, trying to focus and stay on task at work. Do I want to take on a new battle-against fear?
Well, that's just me feeling overwhelmed and hegative. I'm sure there is another way to look at that. That's what the therapist will tell me, I imagine. Besides unrealistic expectations, my problem with therapists is that I know the talk and I can tell them what they want to hear. I always get "you're a well-adjusted individual." And I'm left thinking, "then this is as good as it gets. Why do I even try to make things better?" I want them to say "you do A and B wrong. If you did them this way instead, you would be happy."
I do get what you were saying about writing your fears down in one column and analyzing the reality in the next. Unfortunately, the one about not having enough food to eat...I did get there in my college days. About being homeless...I felt threatened by it when I had to borrow from my mom repeatedly to make rent, but my friends and brother have been essentially homeless, and it scares me. Before S4, I wasn't afraid of those things. I would go off on new, impracticle adventures and get myself into trouble without thinking about it. And now that I have a child, and more money than I've ever had, I am scared, scared, scared by even the remote prospect of not being able to maintain his lifestyle.
Well, I need to get ready for work. Hopefully I can force myslef to get something done since I have that therapist appointment and a dental appointment today.
