Regarding fear Optimist: I know how you feel in a way, because not only have I been there, but I feel my fears bubbling up to the surface everyday single day still...It literally is a battle between me and my fears and many times fear does win because it can be so powerful and primal, but guess what it only wins if I feed it. If I walk away from fear and distract myself from focusing on it by DOING things that make me fearful, I actually do come out on the other side calmer and stronger.
Don't feed your fears. Maybe buy some self-help books on fear. I've found doing your own (honest) work on yourself is sometimes helpful. But if you are going to look for a therapist, find one who deals with cognitive-behavioral therapy.
One of the techniques I was taught was to write down all your fears on a piece of paper and then analyse what you write in 2 columns. One column what the is the fear...i.e. I might die someday—then examine that and Second column, "Yeah, but we all die, so that's legite, but life goes on."
First column:"Well, what if I didn't have money to eat? examine that in second column: "That's not true for today, has NEVER been true ever. And it's not based on reality because it's a "what if".' If it hasn't happened yet, it doesn't deserve your fear and anxiety.
I'm sure I'm not doing that great of a job explaining all this...search for a book on conquering your fears. I'm sure they are out there.
Hang in there. And remember that fear is a foe, not a friend. And love yourself, so that yourself will know that no matter what, YOU will always be there for YOU!
And don't let all your troubles overwhelm you. One day at a time, and don't make up troubles yet. Don't predict doom and gloom scenarios. Gosh, I did this ALL THE TIME in my R with bf (who I'm trying to get back by DBing...) and guess what eventually my FEARS drove him away. FEAR is death, LOVE is life...:)
Rainbow
Courage is not the absence of fear, but facing your fears...now I wish I can always take my own advice! >
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