That one-downsmanship reminds me of something else I read in the DBing book. When there is one spouse (usually H) that always complains and is negative, usually the W tries to cheer them up or say things aren't so bad which usually doesn't work (cheesless tunnel) but when the W does a 180 and says something like, "you're absolutely right, that (your job, anything to pick from) stinks and your work stinks and even more so than you say." it can turn them onto a "wait, it's not really that bad" type of mode that may end up making them more positive overall. Don't know if it will work in your case Opti, but some thing that came to mind. RonJon
