My so-called H is getting to me this morning and I am not DBing well. He is due to transfer in 9 months. The list of open billets came out and he emailed it to me, letting me know what his first few picks were. That was a good gesture in itself-sending me the list. It was atleast sharing information. Good, good.
BUT-he still will not come out and say if he wants S4 and I to transfer with him or not. I could try to glean what he wants from his communications and actions over the year, but it's been so erratic that I think it would be a mistake. Another BIG mistake.
First I tried to figure out if he wanted us to live together when I called him at his parents house his first week of leave. He refused to say much, was VERY cold, and gave me serious move-on-with-your-life-so-I-don't-have-to-be-responsible-or-guilty-anymore vibes. After that I decided not to bring it up again during his leave for what little time he did give S4 and I.
During his time with us, H acted happy to be with us, so after he was gone I wrote him a half page email asking him to come clean with me and tell me if he wanted S4 and I with him or not when he transfered. I told him I understood if he was selected and directed to a place that we could not follow, but assuming that didn't happen-what did he want? Then we had a few emails back and forth without my email question being addressed. Finally I reminded him of my email. And he was friendly and said he was "formulating a response."
So, ofcourse, I have not heard anything back on that. THEN I told him about the serious job lead I have in California and said "my first choice is for S4 and I to go where you go, but since you haven't spoken up on that I'm keeping my options open."
No response to that either, of course. H just emailed that list of open billets and told me what his first picks were, and none of them were in California. I thought about it for a few minutes. Thought about what I'll do if this job lead turns into an interview or even an offer in California. Do I just let all this go and wait until I'm faced with that horrible choice? To start a new life in California with the only hope for the M being that he has a change of heart and finds a way to get transfered out there. Or do I pass up the job in the hope, that H decides he wants S4 and I to transfer with him and THEN hope that he isn't again so unhappy with his next job that he treats me like dirt all over again. And I've done it AGAIN. F&CK.
So, I replied to his email about the billet list and just said "OK, so does that mean you want [S4] and I to go with your or not?"
It was abrupt and I feel like I've asked him this question many times before. But I don't know what else to do. Why is he avoiding answering the question? Is it because the answer is no? Then why does he continue to communicate with me like we are still H & W and he wants to take care of us? Can he really be so intoverted and hermit like that he WANTS us to remain apart and married like this indefinately? WTF
