Oh and there's one other thing that doesn't fit into the positives or negatives reallly...
H told me a little bit about how his health is going. Not good. I noticed right away when I saw him how out of shape he was. He said he had been having chest pains and numbness in his left arm. One night apparently he was so worried that he wouldn't let himself fall asleep. He has also had a benign tumor growing for two years now and it's becoming painful, but he would have to let the public health service doctors operate on it, and he has just cause to be concerned about that in his particular area. He has been so concerned about his health that he is actually cutting down on his smoking and chewing nicotine gum. That may not sound like much, but for him, the king of vice, it's a big deal. I've never seen him cut down this much on anything.
It just makes me realize how precious time is and makes me that much more frustrated that I have no control over what happens. H obviously worries about a heart attack or stroke (and I do too because he's got every kind of indicator there is). How can you be that worried about your health, yet still be unable to get beyond your fear of dealing with relationshops?
