Opti, Sounds like the visit is going well for the most part.
Quote: when he leaves I will be in a quandry about how to tell H about my ideas of moving out west" ---- Don't wait. If I would put your H's shoes on, I'd feel almost betrayed if you sprung this on me after I was thousands of miles away again after we had a nice visit on my leave with you.
This is one of those tough nuts to crack, do you want to spoil the nice visit now by bringing up something you know will cause problems or wait until he's back in a comfortable environment where he'll have support? Sounds like you are coming to a crossroads with decisions to make. Do you think that through DBing and whatever else you can change to where your H changes his ways? And if not are his ways something you can live with indefinitely? Would he consider a move/job a possibility or is he strickly looking for jobs in that area? From my experience, I was blindsided by W and yes it hurt but in retrospect did enjoy the final months/weeks more and had to have the separation for real change to take place in me. Even the most dense guys (like me) can tell when things are not "right" with the W. Have you considered you two going to see a counselor while he's there to try and work through some of the issues (i.e. ILU, rings, etc.)? That's the one thing I would have done differently was go to see someone earlier. There is a website (www.militaryonesource.com) that can refer you up to six sessions with a civilian counselor at no charge. Something to think about.
I'm one that likes to leave options open when possible and would say to hold off talking to him about the move west until you know what you want to do. Good Luck, RonJon
