NNP- About trying another Al-Anon meeting...I'll think about it. I guess I just had such an unpleasant experience with it the first time that I'm not eager to do it again. I'm not much for reading from the bible or the Al-Anon book part. And I guess I didn't feel like I had anything in common with the women there, except having been in a relationship with an alcoholic man. And then there was this one young woman there who said she didn't and never had an alcoholic in her life, but she was getting married and wanted to be prepared just in case. I don't know why that irritated me so bad.
I don't know a lot about alcoholism. The only experience besides H I've had was my step-father of 20 some years. But, I didn't really have a relationship with him because he wasn't even around enough to interact with his own son. But, a friend of mine did a lot of years in Al-Anon and she has H pegged as an alcoholic. She's probably right, and I have to admit that it takes a weight off my shoulder because it makes it so obvious that it all has very little to do with me.
In fact, lately I've been thinking that H is just plain mentally unstable. His wierd behavior and extreme flip flopping are just starting to seem like more than selfishness. He's admitted he has problems with depression but is bitterly against any kind of treatment. There's just something wrong with him and I am not stupid enough to think I could fix it.
I guess another reason I may be resistant to going to another Al-Anon meeting is that H would be the only alcoholic relationship I would have to talk about and I don't need more opportunities to talk about H. I get stuff out on these boards, but I don't want to bring him up with anyone around me anymore.
Maybe I will go and just listen, like you suggest. Maybe if I start to hear the similarities in behavior other people talk about it will just help confirm that it is all out of my hands.
