Quote: Make a plan and take control, don't be reactive, be proactive with him.
I'm so tired at this point. I could Act as if nothing is wrong, I'm just happy to see him and not disappointed at all. That could be my plan. I don't know what else to do or what other plans to make. I'm so tired of trying to control. It never works. My head is just tired of making plans of how to act with H, what to say... I'm tired of spending my energy on him.
So I guess I could just put on my best smile, keep my mouth shut and wait until he leaves to tell him over email that I am planning to move out to the west coast and need to know if he wants to sell the house or go to the trouble of renting out.
I do not expect to hear from H again until the day he leaves to drive here or maybe the moment he shows up. I don't know if that would be this weekend or anytime between then and when he goes back to AK the first week of Sept.
I had the house so clean and picked up, I even paid to have the car detailed because he is so critical of how clean (or unclean) I keep things. That was just before the weekend I thought he was coming, before he dropped the second bomb. Now things are back to normal, toys and books strewn everywhere, bathroom's a mess, car's dirty again, counter tops are cluttered with papers and mail. He'll just use it as a reason he can't ever be "comfortable" with me again. But, without knowing when he's going to show up I can't have the place up to his standard for his arrival. I'm a single mom who works full time and even has a little bit of a life besides. I can't keep my house tidy for more than half a day. I'm really hating him right now.
