Hi clove--very, very glad to read you are now aware of the possibility that your W is dealing with sex/love addiction. I also deal with these addictions with my H in addition to the sexual anorexia like you describe above. Here are some links that have helped me deal and keep me sane:
There are many more websites, plus numerous books. It helped me tremendously to first learn all that I could about sex and love addictions, then second, I learned all that I could about codependency and how it applied to myself as the partner of a sex/love addict. I will share with you that you cannot make your W change or make her help you with your relationship. She is going to have to have the desire to do that on her own, and it doesn't sound like she has reached the point where she is ready or even capable to do that at this time. I would recommend that you focus on yourself for now.
I have been exactly where you are, my friend, and feel your pain. I write to give you hope that it can get better, but it won't come from the addict until they are ready, and that is ENTIRELY up to the addict. Take care of yourself in the interim and get educated about what you are dealing with so that you apply your education to the decisions you must make regarding your relationship.
Wishing you much success and healing, LG
A blessed and happy marriage is a union of two forgivers and Him, because...a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12.
