She's back, this is it, let the pain begin

[cat03]

I know it is hard to trust them again, after my H came back I still snooped, worried, checked his cell. Then realized I was making myself sick. Just as it was a leap of faith for her to want in again, it will take a leap of faith from you to trust her again.
I totally understand, my H has also hurt me in everyway posible, and he is also trying to make this work, though unlike your W, mine isnt' trying very hard...he sort of can't, he has this new career he is trying out and it is very trying both physically and mentally, so 'us' is priority #2, so I have to wait and still be suportive without any of my needs being met.
Be glad your W is trying, give her credit for that. No one here knows for sure at what extent their S is really trying to mend the R, for all I know once my H finishes his training and I have helped him pay off all the debt he incurred while crazy in MLC he can just say "bye bye".

BUT, I will have won still, I have become a better person, I am in control of my happiness and are reverting to that confident me from years ago. My H also pretty much lost himself, did things that never in his live even dreamed he'd do, he was so critical of others before, then he totally lost his head. He is still working at finding himself, but I do know he wants to do things right and I am giving space to think things through.

Hang in there, you are not part of the problem, there are things only she can figure out, you are a separate person and take charge of your life, detach and let her come to her senses.