Quote: Ya, strongbear or stupid, in denial, head in the sand bear...
All those things are things we can accept as defined by others OR as defined by ourselves. I think one of the greatest lessons of DB and really MANY other philosophical/psychological theories is the lesson of learning to love ourselves and make our own decisions.
Mama, there are MANY people, probably lurking here, that would deem you all those things right now. They probably think you are stupid, niéve, in denial and every other thing associated with being a weak, doormat kind of person.
You COULD choose to think of yourself like that, and many times you and I both DO think like that, but much more of the time we choose to think of ourselves as people who are taking risks, calculated, risks that if they work, could result in a wonderful new marriage where we can grow as people and so can our spouses. IF they don't work, well then we took risks and failed. In any event, we are people of action. Stupid, doormat kinds of people usually are not that.
Take heart Mama, you are simply choosing to define yourself inspire of what other people may think, and you are choosing your own path, something that is VERY difficult to do in sitches like ours when it is SO easy to just give in to your emotions and react to everything he's doing.
Mama, at the end of this road, you'll have the peace of mind to know that you did what you wanted to do. If your marriage ends, you will only be short a few months off the rest of your life and nothing much else because those months will have been spent fighting for something you believe in and growing your own soul along the way.
