Hi All, I am feeling a little anxious today. I just want this to be OVER!!
Saturday, as I said, we had a block party. It started at 3:00. H did not get here until 3:30 (don't forget that he gets off of work around noon). Pulls up, not in his work clothes but shorts, shirt and flip flops. I was angry but contained it. I was also embarrased as one of my best friends who is my next door neighbor seen him slinking in and my B and SIL were also here to witness. Neither one of them said anything to me but I know that my friend thinks I am crazy to still be "putting up" with this.
We ended up having a really good time. There is a new bean bag game that is all the rage here and we all played the whole night. H was very kind and attentive to me and we genuinely had fun. He and the kids went in to bed around midnight. I stayed out longer with some friends then ended up sitting and talking with my neighbor and her H. We all had pretty much to drink at this point and her H let it slip that my H confided something in him during the party but he could not tell me what. UGG!!!
Yesterday, we spent the day together as a family. Didn't do too much as everyone was pretty tired. I asked my neighbor to please try to get her H to tell her what my H said if it was going to affect my life. She said she would try but he is very good friends to my H and very loyal.
Wondering what he may have said to him has made me a basket case. This could be the first piece of honest information about what the heck is going on with my H.
Today when I left I saw him take his duffel bag (carries it back and forth everyday) out of our bedroom closet. It is usually downstairs so I am now wondering why it was "hidden" up there. He also had a pair of shorts, shirt and sandals in his hand. He knows I saw this as I was getting a drink of water as he was leaving. Why does he suddenly need a change of clothes everyday?
I am feeling so insecure, hurt, frustrated and angry that this is what has happened to my M. My husband has turned in to a lying, manipulative and sneaky person. Qualities he never had when we first met and qualities that I do not like in a person.
For those of you who have read DR there is a story in it about "Carol and Dean", I reread it this morning and it is very similiar to my situation. I really want to ask my H what is going on but if he is still involved with OW this will get me nothing but more lies therefore I am going to have to stay busy and back off.
My parents are coming in town today and will be here all week so this morning I will be cleaning like a crazy person. My B and SIL, 20 month old nephew and their dog will also be spending the night here tomorrow - so busy will be an understatment.
I need a little support and encouragement today to hang on and keep fighting for my marriage if anyone would like to chime in. Or if you think I should talk to H, how should I approach him so that he doesn't get defensive and withdraw and to get him to open up and start telling me the truth (for once).
