A few thoughts. First, I was/am(?) a control freak. I think at some point we all just have to let things go. After all, what is more important, whether some household chore is done the way you like or that your family is happy?
In conversations with my H, I've learned that my control over most household activities made him feel like I was treating him like a child and that he wasn't good enough.
Instead I've replaced my criticisms with compliments. Let me tell you, this has gone a long way towards repairing our M.
Also, as one of the few here on these boards w/out any kids, I would suggest that our WASs come back for us or not at all. That is not to say that children do not factor into the equation but I think they are secondary.
And for what it's worth, I think it is very important to be affectionate towards each other in front of your kids. Obviously there is a limit. But, while I hate that my parents are so into each other and don't particularly want to see them eying each other in the kitchen, I also secretly love that at age 60+ my parents still really dig each other and obviously turn each other on.
