TSO posted something on my thread that may or may not be applicable, but I think it takes the focus off of the affair and the root of the problem. Take it for what is worth. It meant a lot to me.
Quote: What's important: Recognize why you ran in the first place. Identify what it is that you need to be happier in your marriage. Then ask for it. Identify what it is to make your wife feel happier in the marriage. Then do it. Do NOT go outside of the M/R to get your emotional needs met. Period.
I do agree that as long as your H is with the OW, your marriage will not be healed.
I want to add to that so much more, but that will get into marital advice. I can't do that.
