AH HA!...Mamabear....I can give you some ideas on this one...
Ok...not sure what ages your kids are but these are some things I have done in the past...and even because things are tight (although I no longer need babysitters I have BTDT)
One idea is to have a "car date"...after the kids go to bed go get in the car....turn on the radio....and imagine you are on a lovers lane somewhere...you don't have to get all hot and sweaty....sounds like you two need some reconnecting to take place...
So how about a cheap bottle of good wine (is that an oxymoron?)....I like Pinot Grigio...Trader Joe's (if you have one near you) sells a pretty good one for only $2.99...Or for that matter share a bit Steel Reserve beer...or take that bottle of rum and make him a maitai....
Maybe make a plate with some fruit, cheese, and crackers...or what ever snack you like
Listen to the music...and start telling him your dreams...ones that include him...snuggle up to him a little...
When my H first came home he was very standoff-ish...I just kept reaching out to him....giving him hugs....pecks on the cheek....I told him it made me feel good I really hoped it made him feel good...after time passed I did mention to him that it was ok for him to hug ME...or kiss ME first...
It took some time (I think he wanted it to seem like his idea and not something I asked/told him to do....that rebelious spirit again)....but now he initiates hugs, kisses me good bye...or hello...rubs my head when we are in bed...and I will stop their for the sake of the children, lol...
Anyway my point is you have to keep the ball rolling...don't give up...as long as they "allow" you hug them and kiss them....keep doing it....eventually they have to come around...
Another suggestions...and, yes I did this too...write an erotic story of the two of you....make it hot hot hot... very detailed...and maybe leave it in his sock drawer... then act "as if"....it will get him thinking...it will remind him that he had a hot wife and that just maybe...she can be hotter then any OW could hope to be... My story involved, candles, shower, hot fudge and whipped cream.....just to give you an idea....
I don't know if you have a fireplace or not but just sitting by a fire (when the weather is cool again) and sipping hot tea...listening to his heart beat...is nice.... you don't have to go out and spend a lot of money...you don't have to get babysitters...um, but a bedroom lock might not be a bad idea, lol
