You have been at this same place for a long time. I personally feel you are being used and her agenda is the same...get a job and get out of your life. I think you might want to reevaluate what you've been doing so far and think about doing something different.
One thing you should consider is start focusing on yourself much as she is doing. What do YOU want to do with YOUR life? Focus on yourself and your kids and take her wants and desires out of the picture. Throw yourself into other activities that don't involve her. Find a way to give her space while letting her know that you intend to have a life outside of her.
You might also want to consider going to newcomers for a bit to get more active feedback. To me I don't get the feel of a couple that is "piecing"
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
