Muddle, I really feel your pain and frustration as I am living it every day. We hate what has become of our life. What happened to that person we married? They changed, and not much to our liking either. There are lots of days when I just want to give up too, but think of your son. I know we shouldn't stay together for just the sake of the kids but if we don't think of them then we too are being selfish. People who know of my sitch think I am nuts, a doormat, an enabler and some days I feel exactly that but in reality I am not. I am strong!! I am fighting for something that I believe in. I am not a quiter and I don't toss things aside just because it isn't exactly the way I want it to be and I believe that you are that person too.
My H and I have had a similar convo regarding our dogs. One is a 4 year old Golden Retreiver that to this day still jumps on people when they enter my house. She runs around like a maniac, stealing socks and toys for attention, not to mention the constant barking when someone walks past our yard. The other dog, is meek and mild and does her own thing except she constantly pees and poops in our house even though she knows to go to the door if she needs to go out. We often talk of getting rid of them; taking them to a shelter or finding them a new home BUT then we say to ourselves what kind of a message would we be sending to our kids if we did that. That if we don't like something about someone, just get rid of them? So....the dogs remain in our family, issues and all.
Sorry for going off in another direction. Show your son what it means to have good values and morals and integrity. Don't feed off of your W's confusion. Continue to improve yourself and leave her to figure out all that she has and could possibly lose.
