Muddle, Have you approached your W about the two of you going to a C? From your side of the story it looks like she has you jumping thru hoops for her. There is a breakdown somewhere in how you are communicating to eachother, maybe a C could help.
Since your W is clearly not committed to your marriage right now maybe you should back off in the affection dept. for a while. Continue to be positive and do positive things in the realm of your R. Continue to "fight" for your M, on your own. Do not bring up OM in any of your talks. Reread the section in DR under infedelity when the spouse refuses to end the affair. This will help keep you on your path. Hang in there bud!
