This is really where the battle is - in the little things. I can tell you, because I know the OM well, that the day to day stuff about him will drive W far more crazy than I do. Our "deep" interactions were always fine, and I don't think this was a problem until the A. It was the day to day living that created resentment. This is what she doesn't have the opportunity to see with OM, but what she has seen (VERY early on, BTW - because she won't talk about this stuff with me now, and I certainly don't want to ask) has led her to tell me that she sees that they have incompatabilities. So, while we are well connected (or were) at the deep level (I doubt she'll admit this now, but there's something that she's hanging on to, and I'm sure it's not JUST that we have a kid together), and she knows all about my intentions, my day to day ACTIONS tell her something very different. She has told me that my intentions and what my actions actually say are worlds apart. So, while I acknowledge that her perception has a lot to do with why she might not see my intentions in my actions, I have the ability to ensure that my actions are telling something as close to my intentions as my understanding of her perception will allow. Make sense?

I have a friend who's really been a huge help to me through this. He's been the most compassionate, understanding person I could imagine, actually thanking me for sharing and giving him the opportunity to learn from my life and my troubles when I feel like I am burdening him with my sitch. He is a buddhist, and works at a temple. I stopped by there yesterday and my eye was drawn to a paper posted on the wall - goals for September: Do what you say and say what you do. This struck me like it was a message from the universe confirming I have in fact tapped into something worthwhile and important. My friend told me that he had just put that paper up in the morning, and this made it feel even more like it was "intended" for my eyes. This is something that I need to be really vigilant about: the message my actions deliver. They will be far more telling of my deepest intentions, and no lie I tell myself or others will cover this up. I intend to do right by myself, and honor my W. I need to act this way always.

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ”
– Albert Einstein