I think it is wonderful to focus and get down to work! How you motivate yourself is whatever works for you. If kicking your own a** works then go for it, Muddle. Just don't be too harsh on yourself. All of us are playing a game where we didn't make up the rules and don't really know how to play anyway. We're fumbling around in the dark. Be gentle but, yes, get real focused! It's really hard to get past the "feeling" aspect of what has happened, the resentment, hurt, anger, sadness and helplessness. It gets in the way all the time. But, being aware of it and how it effects our functioning in the sitch is paramount. You, Muddle, are on top of that baby now. So set those goals and go for it! Just remember, you are a hero! In all our sitch's it would be understandable and acceptable to bail. We have decided to take the most difficult route by staying. We are fighting for what is right, our M's and families. That is what a hero is Muddle. My oldest D (12), when I discussed mom and dad's sitch with her as best I could (she overheard a loud argument and needed reassurance), said "You are my hero, daddy, you never give up!" I hold those words in my heart and when times get tough I think of them. Muddle, you are that hero to your family too. God knows, it would have been easy to bail but you didn't. Keep us posted, there's lots of us rooting for you out here!
