Muddle, it must be so painful to come across that picture. My heart goes out to you. Sometimes we all say, "F*** it, what's the point". We get tired of feeling unloved and dumped on by the person we wanted to spend our lives with. That is natural, so vent away! I'd like to mention that when your W says things like "grow a pair" etc. just walk away. They love to pick at your vulnerable spots. I know a friend of mine says that they start with your vulnerable spots and then start on the things you feel confident about! They wear you down. That's why GAL is so damn important cuz if you don't offset the crap you are being handed with positive experiences, it's hard to keep it up. Exercise, as you know, is a lifesaver. I've said before that there were times I felt totally disillusioned, would go for a run and lo and behold would be returning home only thinking of all the blessings in my life. Hope you are physically better soon. Also I believe couples get together because of the attraction of opposites. Your W is aggressive and she probably wanted someone who could offset that side of her nature, that's you. So don't swallow that crap about "why don't you grow a pair". It's just hurtful anger being spewed. I always told my W that sometimes I need someone to kick me in the butt and she needs someone to pull in her reins. That I saw as positive. Take care.
