GH, I'm clear on that point, and I'm not at a point where I'm debating my position AT ALL! I am just documenting some of my feelings; even though they are counter to my position I think they deserve to be processed. I am far more desensitized to this than you might think.
The pain of this image has been relatively minor - far less than images I have conjured up myself - and I only had one point in the evening where I got a pang of physical pain from this.
I get this sense from your recent posts, GH, that you have taken a pessimistic view of my sitch of late. I'm not sure why exactly I get this, but I do, and it doesn't really change my position any if you do. Do you?
You say that my sitch took a turn for the worse, but having read what many, if not most of the people on this board have been through, I don't think it any worse, and I can't say it's unexpected. I fully expected things to get worse before they get better. I'm still not sure we're at rock bottom yet. I think I've been there and have begun my ascent. W hasn't yet. She still thinks that it's just a matter of hard work and determination to make this fantasy come true. She hasn't hit bottom, and I worry sometimes that I'm preventing her from doing this be being there for her. She's got to do some real living now and learn about who she is and what she wants from her life. We'll see if she still wants some part of this life then.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
