I haven't written to you before but I have been reading you on the boards for a bit, and I am with you. I wanted to reply to you, because I "discovered" some things earlier in the week and last night that sent me down a "what am I doing this for?" kind of tunnel. I have been thinking that we need to protect ourselves more from negative information, the stuff that makes us question our M's. Because if I want eveidence for ending my M, I already had enough on the day of the bomb. Sometimes I worry about "being in denial", that my H "might not be the right one for me" after all, all that stuff. And I dunno, but I think there are always several ways to frame anything. That's why lawyers and therapists get the big bucks. So we have to decide how we want to "frame" our sitches, to make it work for each of us. I read about your sitch, and I think "well, he's got a child - he's trying to preserve a family..." and there are always a million sitches that look better than mine. Except for all the ones that look worse
I think we just need to decide what we want, remain committed to that, and pick up the tools in our environment that support that. I am tempted about gathering information about what H is doing, but then I find out what I find out and it makes me restless, disturbed and unsteady. Am I in denial? Or is my H? And what's the ultimate outcome going to be later, so I know now whether I should stay or leave? LOL.
OK, Muddle, your job and my job today is to focus on the present. Everything in the moment. A lovely flower. A good cup of coffee. A friendly smile. How good it feels to take a shower. The sound of a child's laughter.
Just for today, let's see if that is enough. Are you with me?
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
