Quite uncharacteristically, I don't have much to say other than hang in there. She is obviously going through some rough times, much of which she blames on you. There is not much you can do about that. Just make sure you are clear in your mind that you are NOT to blame for these actions and the guilt she feels because of them. Also consider that always blaming her anger/actions on guilt may be, in itself, a "superior" or at least "wrong" in terms of perspective idea. She may indeed NOT feel guilt but rather thinks that this whole thing is the greatest prospect she has for a happy life. That's not to make you feel bad but I just want to make sure you understand that you have no TRUE idea of what she's feeling even though she may tell you and you may feel you are good at reading her.
Even if she's just plain angry at not being able to go to OM right now, it doesn't change the fact that you can't control that. You can only do what you can to improve your part of the sitch and make sure that you do keep coming from that "loving" place so that for your sake and your son's, you can look back in 5 years and say that what you did either saved your marriage or at least did justice to the love you felt for W.
I think you are still doing remarkably well considering all things, and I have faith that you will continue on the path that so far, has been pretty steady. You DO know what you want, and you are doing what you feel you need to do to achieve those goals. You just have to keep trusting yourself.
