I think you are doing a good job. For wife to blame you for her unhappiness and not giving her any choices thats just a bunch of bunk. If she really wanted to she could always just pack up and go. Just because she can't have it the way she wants it still doesn't mean that she doesn't have a choice. I have seen others go through a D and basically walk away with nothing just to get out of their sitch.

So, I believe you are doing a great job, and rightly so, by deflecting her attitude and opinions.

"Our life is what our thoughts make it." Marcus Aurelius