Oh, Muddle, I am so sorry for your pain. Sadly, all of us here have too much empathy to the depth of your hurt.
I have zero wisdom for you, honey, as you see how my sitch has fallen down the hole. But I wanted to virtually hold your hand as you've been holding mine over the weekend. (((((Muddle)))))
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
