Thanks GH, I think you're right about that. I try to look at things for what they are right now, but it's easy to slip back into projecting what her actions now mean for the future. I need to stop this, even though I am FAR more detached from it. It is good though in my opinion to think about what is acceptable down the road. I know that I want a real reconciliation, not one because it just didn't work out with OP. This is where a true separation would be helpful as it would provide clarity on this issue - one that my W has verbalized the importance of.
I'm not punishing her, unless you're seeing something that I'm not. I think a big part of this for me, and it might just come down to my desire to fix her, is that should the situation dictate what she can and can't do rather than her choices she hasn't learned or grown from this. I want her to be empowered and clear that she is where she is because she is choosing to be. I guess I have to get this fantasy out of my head too!
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
