So, last night after my W came home from therapy and before I had to leave for my other job, she comes in to talk to me. She tells me that she had a full fledged panic attack in therapy - that she had anxiety earlier in the day that built until she was there. She told me that she was talking about something (wouldn't tell me what - but I know she talks about the sitch there) and it got her so amped up that she had to put her head down. The only thing that got her to calm down was changing the subject. She actually had 2 panic attacks. Anyway, point is, after she explained this to me (who was listening very intently) she tells me "you know, if I go or not next week - which is still up in the air - this thing could just go away." She had a tearful look in her eyes when she told me this, and she followed it up with "you know a couple of weeks or months ago I couldn't have admitted this." I have NO idea what she means, and although curiosity nearly got the best of me, I simply asked her if she would like a hug, and told her that I wished there was something I could do to make her feel better. Then she tells me "please continue to be patient. Hang in there for me."
My guess: he's backing out, sort of. Should this be the case, it doesn't really make me too happy. I think the ideal situation would be her making the decision that this is wrong and wanting to work on our M, not coming back to our M by default, which I think is happening somewhat. Things started to get rocky with them, and I became more valuable to her, she wanted to smooth things out with me to the best of her ability. I guess we have to play the hand we're dealt, but there's a lot of potential for nastiness here, and I need to make sure I don't get my hopes/expectations up, and that I remain detached.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
