Need an objective look at this, I am so lost

[FailedAgain]

Yea, when we talked yesterday, she was very open and honest about what she was trying to do and my recent hunch was right. She was trying to get over me, past me or whatever you want to call it. Mentally she didn't want to be with me because of her pain. She stated she tried everything to get over me, this included her actions in the A.

I'm not sure I should post this, if she ever saw it she'd have a fit, but it may help someone. This is how and what she said about ending the A.

I simply asked her what the status was with you know who and this was her response. If she would not have been this brutally honest, I would not have believed a word of it. because she put it this way, it was easier to believe her, although I still have some small reservations.

"All I can say about him is he is so very sweet to me. He would do anything for me, I know that. And like I told you yesterday, I tried every way to get you out of my heart. He's really a great guy with alot to offer someone, but nobody can be you. I know that probably sounds juvenile, high school, I don't know. But nobody can be you. I don't want anyone else to be you.

I told him you and I were gonna try and work things out. He said all he wanted was for me to be happy, no matter what that meant. But I know me - I won't be able to continue to work with him and see him everyday in this small of an environment, and pretend like nothing ever happened. I have to get away from here. This job came when I needed it, but I don't need it anymore. Being here will be a constant reminder of a bad time in my life, and I want to get away from it. I'll be honest - I care for him very much. I guess I'd feel cheap if I didn't, I don't know. He's made me laugh when I needed it, let me cry when I needed it, and been very good to me and my daughter when we needed it.

Please know that it is very, very hard for me to tell you all these things for several reasons: because I don't want to hurt you, and because I'm embarrassed and ashamed. But we promised we'd be honest. It may be unfair for me to ask you, but I really would appreciate it if you would not try to contact him in any way. He did not put himself in the middle of this, I did. So if you want to yell and scream at me, I'll take it. I understand, I'd probably do the same."

Thanks all for what you have said. Folks, the DB'ing books and advice did a lot to help me find myself again and make the changes I needed to make. In my case, even with an A going on, it 'seems' to have made my wife look back at me and make it a lot harder to just mentally end it. Keep that in mind if it helps.

I still say we are on rocky ground. I will try to keep this updated as much as possible.

One thing I found interesting in your posts is that you are already focusing on your marriage, not the A.

Yep, because that is the problem, not the A.