Well, yesterday was full of e-mails. I continued to try and stay detached, and questioned her about the healthiness of staying in so much contact. I think I have come to the conclusion that when she made up her mind to leave, that is what she wanted and set out to do. I think she has been trying to do that ever since. I also believe that is what she continues to do. I don't think she 'wants' to be in the marriage and would rather end it, but for whatever the reason it is not as easy or is not going the way she thought it would. This is what I base my conclusion on:

I asked her if cutting off all communication would help us deal with this either way and here was her response...

"I tried that. Not communicating makes me crazy, and it seems nothing I can do can get you out of my mind or my heart. Reckon what that means?"

I point out the part, nothing I can do. It reminded me if some things I did after my 1st marriage was over to try and put my 1st wife out of my head. I thought if I hooked up with someone else, it would help the pain go away and fill the void I was feeling. I stayed with that person quite awhile, til one day I woke up and realized I wanted to feel more for a person, I ended that R and shortly after met my current wife.

So, I was thinking that is what she is trying to do. The odd thing is how she is going about it. You would think she would know, in order to get someone out of your life you really need to cut off all ties to them and move on, at least for a while. It seems if she is determine to get out, she would realize this will only make it harder on both of us.

Until/Unless, she 'decides' she wants to work on our marriage, nothing will change, I do not believe. I guess in the mean time, I wait and see.

Here was her closing e-mail for the day. I told her I enjoyed talking to her.

"LOL. Me too. I miss talking to you. Email is great but I really like the sound of your voice and your expressions. I love you, and think of you continuously."

I just let this stuff roll off, lol. Because I honestly don't know what to believe anymore.

Learn to laugh at it. People are people and everyone is human. Choose how you will act and don't re-act.