OK - goal for me = to feel that I am sexy. First sign = will put on nice underwear How? Well, I am going to pamper myself a bit, go back to the gym, see if I can drop a bit more weight (lost 50lbs over the past 2 years, can't get the motivation for the last 20 I want to get rid of), have a few nice relaxing baths then NOT dress in my baggy pyjamas and comfy teddy bear slippers but something a bit more sensual and grown up. See if I can get the feeling going for myself before I approach H. How does that sound?
Jen Jam,
I TOTALLY am like you...shy as heck, but wanting oh-so-much-more! I think the advice you got is good. Your first step is good. I think a lot about changing LD is how we perceive ourselves. Are you exuding confidence and sexuality? You can do this totally covered up...or not. Sexiness is an attitude I think...an energy you put out.
Think about days when your PMA was high, you KNEW you looked good, and you were out walking around. Other people NOTICED. I know when I go out with my, "D@mn I'm looking good!" attitude, I get lots of looks and attention from people. When I'm feeling deflated, it's almost as if it's a repellant.
That's why I started buying the lacy undies and jammies. They put an extra little something in my step...I feel like a beautiful woman!
And I have to tell you, weight and looks have nothing to do with being sexy. I went to a burlesque show last week, and most of the women had a little extra (some a lot!) on them, some not what I'd call attractive, but their confidence was sexy.
Work on feeling sexy, just for yourself. That PMA, that confidence, that happiness...these things are sexy.
Our Hs are in trouble when they get themselves together...I've lost an awful lot of my hangups through this process!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
