Did you contribute to this? Maybe, by setting contributing to conditions that made his A an option, not by causing him to decide the way he did.
Did you make him choose what he did? NO
You are blaming yourself for his choices. His weaknesses.
It's not you that wasn't good enough, it's him - he wasn't and isn't good enough to stay faithful, or to live up to the responsibility he has chosen to take on.
He is choosing to do wrong because of his own faults, not yours. Let him own this, don't do it for him. It won't do either of you any good if you do.
You are hurt, yes, and you likely have regrets about how you have acted, but please know that no matter how bad you think you were it doesn't excuse him for the choices he has made and continues to make. He makes his choices on his own. He would like very much for you to be the reason he is running - the fact is you aren't. He has tried how many times now to reconnect? If you were the problem, would he? YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM HERE!
You don't know what will come in the future - don't presume to. This is where most of our pain comes from: trying to see what will come. Give that up, to God or fate or luck, but give it up, because the only thing you can know is what you are doing right now, and where you intend it to get you down the road.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
