I don't want to sound mean or anything but you need to find something to keep you busy. Stop looking into anything that has to do with your H. All it is going to do is upset you more. You need to let go of that. You need to get out and get a hobby. Take the girls for a walk or something. I know it is hard with 2 little ones but you need to get out of your townhouse once in awhile. Take them window shopping. Anything to get you away from being alone. When you are alone your mind will do anything it can to make you think awful things.
I know you are a strong woman and can do this. You just need to take the first step toward it. Acceptance is the first thing you need to do. Right now your H (the ungrateful "censor") is winning. If you stay inside the cocoon you have made then he knows he has you where he wants you. Show him that you don't care (I know you do) and that you are moving on with your life. You will be surprised in how you start dealing with the situation. Your H will notice a new you. So what if he has OW right now. There isn't anything you can do about that. The more you hound him, the more he will stay with her. This is his way of getting back at you. Let him think it doesn't bother you.
I want to see you come out on top. I know you can do it.
