Quote: GOOD MORNING ALL!!!!! Alright I woke up this morning with a huge ball of stress in my chest. I realized that I have severed all contact with my H. It's a little scary. Sometime I still pick up the phone expecting to hear this voice on the other end. I don't really want my marriage to be over . . although I think I am ready to start with my TOTALLY new life. UGH . . I really am mad at him for breaking my heart. I am still looking for that forgiveness. I prayed for him AND Cassie lastnight thoughI really do hope his life works out for him. I'll always be a small part of it no matter what. Can't help that when there are kids invovled.
Emily, I have to say that I think you're doing great! You seem to actually be making real progress. The stress you are feeling, I think that's a good thing. I think you are recognizing that you have stress, and can't blame it on your H, but rather have to address it on your own. This is THE most important step in detachment, regardless of whether you intend to reconcile or not. It's helpful to you right now that you CAN'T talk to him, because it forces you to deal with things on your own. You recognizing your issues and then doing something about them is huge.
Your anger is normal, but recognize that it almost surely is another emotion, like hurt, being masked. Work on forgiving yourself for allowing yourself to be in a position where you could be hurt the way you have been, then worry about forgiving them. You extending good wishes to them is very big of you, and shows just what a great person you are. It's also a great way of loving yourself.
Keep at it, you're doing great!
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
