Well I am officially at my new phone number. If you dial the old one you get the beep beep beep this number has been disconnected . . . message
OK Amy . . I will call the domestic relations office and ask them about the custody. DON'T worry . . I certainly will not file for divorce. I'll make him wait his two years to eat that piece of cake. Unless somewhere along that two year road I decide it's for the best and he still wants it. It's just comforting that in 3 months I won't be divorced. WHEW!!
I wasn't ready for all of that.
He won't file a faulted divorce. . . it costs more I think. He's cheap and he's trying to file it all from online paperwork anyway. So we will see where things go.
When/If I get those papers from him I don't have to sign anything then right? Not for two years. I really should find a lawyer to ask about that.
Today has been a HOT HOT LONG day. I just don't feel like I can get anything accomplished. UGH. I'm trying.
Glad to see you're doing better today than you were a couple of days ago. Just a few points in regard to your child suppport/custody issue...I know a little bit about family law (but not a lot) and I'm almost thinking that if he is not willing to agree to a child support/custody arrangment through DR, then you may need to file an action for support in the Court of Common Pleas in your county. This will require service by sheriff upon him in Cumberland County, although there are other various methods of effectuating service if he should be hard to find. You may want to consult with an attorney to get an idea of what you NEED to do and although legal services may not provide you with what you need (although I thought they did), many attorneys will charge reasonable rates or offer payment plans. You may get lucky and find someone who may offer pro bono legal services....contact the Pennsylvania Bar Association, they may be able to help you with a referral.
All the best,
Rob
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
Well I was a little low tonight. Then I got on here . . . and went and checked out ACJ . . . I feel better . . . listen to my own damn advice. I never did get ahold of my Domestic Relations Lady. Apparently she had the day off. Everytime I want to get something done . . LOL!
Let's see it took EVERY ounce I had tonight not to try my H's old cell phone. The only thing that stopped me honestly? If I call him he'll have my new number and then she'll get it out of his phone again. What would be the point in changing it. I CANNOT call him. Not even though I really wanted to. Besides what would I say? I have nothing nice to say right now. I just want to scream at him. I want to bitch him out because he probably won't see Kiya again before she walks. He's finally realizing that he doesn't know our kids. He said that he didn't want custody when he was here on the 30th . . . HUGE sigh of relief.
I told myself I would clean up the place tonight when it cooled off. NO SUCH LUCK . . . It's gotten hotter I SWEAR!! UGH . . .
The bug people are coming tomorrow to spray the apartments. . the maintainance guy came around and told everyone today. I guess they'll have to deal with some baby toys and crap lying around. It's not like I have moldy food in my livingroom or crap stuck all over the floors. . . LOL It's really not all that bad . . . I just have TOO much stuff for this little two bedroom townhouse.
That's my day in a nutshell . . . See you all tomorrow!
"Famous Last Words" is one of my favorite Jars of Clay songs and it was great to see it in your sig line. Also love their song "Crazy TImes" - Listened to that group a LOT LOT LOT this winter in the middle of my H's A. Just a shout-out for you (and Jars of Clay)
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
Quote: Well I was a little low tonight. Then I got on here . . . and went and checked out ACJ . . . I feel better . . . listen to my own damn advice. I never did get ahold of my Domestic Relations Lady. Apparently she had the day off. Everytime I want to get something done . . LOL!
Emily, Just had to say that you are doing pretty good right now. You go girl!
Yeah I like them a lot too believing_isaiah43 . . . thanks for the shout-out!
Thanks Frank . . . I'm really taking steps I think.
Alright I woke up this morning with a huge ball of stress in my chest. I realized that I have severed all contact with my H. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Ok now that that's out. I don't have his "new" cell number (if he even got it yet) and he doesn't have my new number. It's a little scary.
I'm not quite sure what to do. Sometime I still pick up the phone expecting to hear this voice on the other end. Like I said . . . we couldn't have a pleasant convo though. Not even close.
I have nothing nice to say to him. . . and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way. He told me while he was here this past weekend that if he could've just kept "walking" and wouldn't have started talking to me again then he wouldn't have ever thought twice about coming back. So I'm guessing thats what will happen this time. He doesn't want to be friends. . . and we don't have each others phone numbers. Sad really.
I think it's sad anyway. I don't really want my marriage to be over . . although I think I am ready to start with my TOTALLY new life. It'll be two years probably anyway . . . that's plenty of time for me to adjust and settle into the idea. LOL! He can always go to another state and get remarried . . . . I think . . . Or does that only apply to same sex marriage (where they aren't really viewed as married in every state?) I'm guessing it applies to only to that.
UGH . . I really am mad at him for breaking my heart. I am still looking for that forgiveness. I prayed for him AND Cassie lastnight though . . . and I didn't even pray for them to die in a flaming mass like I would've just a little bit ago.
I really do hope his life works out for him. I'll always be a small part of it no matter what. Can't help that when there are kids invovled.
I have to try to call domestic relations again today. Maybe I'll be able to get that number for the Cumberland Co. one . . . and I'll ask about the custody sitch.
Quote: GOOD MORNING ALL!!!!! Alright I woke up this morning with a huge ball of stress in my chest. I realized that I have severed all contact with my H. It's a little scary. Sometime I still pick up the phone expecting to hear this voice on the other end. I don't really want my marriage to be over . . although I think I am ready to start with my TOTALLY new life. UGH . . I really am mad at him for breaking my heart. I am still looking for that forgiveness. I prayed for him AND Cassie lastnight thoughI really do hope his life works out for him. I'll always be a small part of it no matter what. Can't help that when there are kids invovled.
Emily, I have to say that I think you're doing great! You seem to actually be making real progress. The stress you are feeling, I think that's a good thing. I think you are recognizing that you have stress, and can't blame it on your H, but rather have to address it on your own. This is THE most important step in detachment, regardless of whether you intend to reconcile or not. It's helpful to you right now that you CAN'T talk to him, because it forces you to deal with things on your own. You recognizing your issues and then doing something about them is huge.
Your anger is normal, but recognize that it almost surely is another emotion, like hurt, being masked. Work on forgiving yourself for allowing yourself to be in a position where you could be hurt the way you have been, then worry about forgiving them. You extending good wishes to them is very big of you, and shows just what a great person you are. It's also a great way of loving yourself.
Keep at it, you're doing great!
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
Guys . . I am sliding down into that black hole waiting for me.
He's deleted me from his friends and he's changed his profile so that it revoles around her. (This is on myspace)
I still get on because A LOT of my other friends and I message back and forth through there.
I don't want to lose everything I've been working so hard for. GOD I HATE HIM . . .
This is soo shitty . . . sooo shitty.
I don't understand why things can't be fair. Like I don't understand why he couldn't love me as much as I love him. I don't understand why I am NEVER good enough . . NEVER Oh ^&^*&^%^%*^(*^(%(*^
Yeah . . . it's going to be one of those. DAMN this rollercoaster. Divorce is the worst . . . . especially when it's because of OP. I am so sad. Please pray for me.
