You say you heard every word, but I watched you turn away Your eyes grew colder than winter "Love is so intrusive," I thought I heard you say And laugh so unconvincingly
Famous last words, "I'm not ready yet" "I won't be gone a minute"
Narrow is the road and too high a price to pay When loneliness is such a sanctuary Empty are the musings and wasted are the days When you say you were only waiting
And famous last words, "I'm not ready yet" "I won't be gone a minute" and I won't forget Famous last words If tomorrow never comes, will I ever know that I was in love?
I was in love In love
You say you heard every word, I watched you turn away You were only waiting
--Famous Last Words - Jars Of Clay
I am doing a distance learning class to get my diploma to be a Vet. Assisant. It would be great . . from there I could get some on the job training and possibly move up the ladder to Vet. Tech.
If I got the job at the high school it would only be 4 or 5 hours a day (PERFECT) . . . I am really hoping I get a call back at least. I've already called EVERYONE and updated my phone number. I tried to call the domestic relations office but my caseworker didn't answer her phone . . so I left a message and asked her to give me call back. I'll call her again later (they never call back)
I also called the only legal aid place I could find in the area and she said they don't handle divorce cases . . I'll have to hire a private lawyer. GREAT. Do you still remember that site Amy? Maybe I could find another office.
Quote: I also called the only legal aid place I could find in the area and she said they don't handle divorce cases . . I'll have to hire a private lawyer. GREAT. Do you still remember that site Amy? Maybe I could find another office.
Ok guys . . . I've come to a decision. Please tell me if you think I am wrong in this.
As long as he is paying all her bills and contributing NOTHING to my daughters he has "terminated his parental rights". So until he buys a diaper or juice or SOMETHING. To help me with the girls. . . he will not see them. Maybe that's wrong. But I don't see why I should allow him to walk in and out on them when he is not willing to live up to the responsibility.
I expect harsh responses here . . I am not keeping them from him . . .merely trying to draw a clear line! What do you think?
I don't think you are going to have to worry about needing an attorney any time soon. Here's why:
What are the grounds for divorce in Pennsylvania?
A divorce may be granted in Pennsylvania using either "Fault" or "No-Fault" grounds.
Fault grounds include: (1) adultery; (2) bigamy; (3) imprisonment for two or more years; (4) confinement for incurable insanity for 18 months; (5) willful desertion for one year; (6) cruel and inhuman treatment endangering the life of the spouse; (7) personal indignities.
No-Fault grounds include:
(1) Irretrievable breakdown of the marriage with the spouses living separate and apart without cohabitation for two years; (he can't even file yet) (2) irretrievable breakdown of the marriage and the spouses have both filed affidavits they consent to the divorce, and 90 days have elapsed from the date of filing. "Separate and apart" means complete cessation of any and all cohabitation, whether living in the same residence or not.
Of these, the "No-Fault" grounds are the most straightforward and easiest to prove.
Definition of terms
In the legal divorce process, the following terms are used to describe the parties involved.
~The spouse starting the divorce is known as the Petitioner
~The document filed in court is know as the Petition
~The spouse being divorced is known as the Respondent
~The answer to the Petition is the Response
~Orders for the dissolution and the terms of it are known as the Judgment.
~Procedure for divorce
~The Petition is filed and personally served on the Respondent.
~The Respondent then has thirty days to file a Response.
~One of the parties to the dissolution will usually request a temporary court order by filing for an Order to Show Cause hearing. It is at this hearing that the judge will make rulings on temporary child custody, support, and restraining orders.
~The parties then engage in Discovery, which is the process by which both parties exchange information and documentation relevant to the divorce. Part of this procedure involves what is known as the Preliminary Declaration of Disclosure. This is a court form in which each party lists all known community and separate properties. Current income figures as well as expenses are also listed here.
~At the end of the discovery process, the parties and their attorneys discuss the settlement of the case. If the case is resolved at this stage, one of the attorneys will prepare a Marital Settlement Agreement, which will contain all the terms outlined in the agreement. This contract is signed by the spouses and their attorneys. Should an agreement not be reached on all the terms of the settlement, a trial will take place.
After the parties sign the Marital Settlement Agreement -- or after the trial has concluded -- one of the attorneys will prepare a Judgment of Dissolution of Marriage. This document contains all of the court's orders. The judgment is filed and the court mails a Notice of Entry of Judgment to each attorney.
When you filed for child support did you also file for custody? I know it sounds like a dumb question but it is not. I'm not trying to scare you, I just want you to get your ducks in a row.
As for the divorce...don't sweat that. He can't do anything right now anyway.
What was the last date that he slept under your roof and was telling you there was going to be a reconciliation? DO NOT FORGET THAT DATE!
The only things you need to do now are file for custody (if you haven't already) and raise hell until they get your child support coming.
THIS way, you have done nothing but what was necessary to protect the girls...SO THEN WHEN he pulls his head out of his ass, he can't be mad at you...AND THE DOOR IS STILL OPEN SHOULD HE DECIDE HE WANTS TO GROW UP AND SAVE HIS FAMILY.
Quote: But I don't see why I should allow him to walk in and out on them when he is not willing to live up to the responsibility.
I am not keeping them from him . . .merely trying to draw a clear line! What do you think?
I think this is wrong - you shouldn't come between him and the girls. It seems like you are trying to punish him for not doing the right thing, but that in itself is punishment enough. Don't give him a good reason for painting you as the bad guy. Don't give your daughters reason to resent you. Take the high road.
I think you can certainly tell him you think he's being irresponsible, but I don't think it would do any good. Perhaps instead of trying to control him by punishing him for his actions, you can focus on how you can take the high road here, and what that road really looks like to you.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
Quote: As long as he is paying all her bills and contributing NOTHING to my daughters he has "terminated his parental rights". So until he buys a diaper or juice or SOMETHING. To help me with the girls. . . he will not see them. Maybe that's wrong. But I don't see why I should allow him to walk in and out on them when he is not willing to live up to the responsibility.
Do not make decisions like this that will backfire on you. He doesn't DESERVE to see the girls but as I told you before, it is ALWAYS better for you to take the high road, even though he's not paying a dime.
I REAAALLLYYY don't like him either Amy . . . don't feel bad!
Yeah 10 minutes through the storm door sounds reasonable to me!!!
It hurts Felina to have him come for a minute and leave. She kept going to the door and yelling daddy after he left on the 30th. It broke my heart. I'll never tell him about it though. He doesn't deserve her love if you ask me because I don't feel he really returns that love the way he should. He didn't tell either of them good bye not so much as a hug or a kiss . . . I think he was too hurt and ashamed too.
I think I have to call the domestic relations office to file for custody right?
Should I just wait for him to file something or do I really need.
He has left Felina with me for over 8 months now . . . and Kiya has never lived anywhere else (obviously) . . . it's not like he can run right in and take them.
I will file if it's necessary . . . but if he's going to be lazy and never fight the fact that I have them ALL the time and have the right to tell him to bugger he can't see them . . I don't see why I should screw around.
