His being mean is his way of distancing himself from you. He's convinced that you're the bad guy, and if he's nice to you, all that goes out the window. Can't be nice to the bad guy, that would make HIM the bad guy, and that can't be right...could it? He has to feel justified in his actions, and the only way he can do is that is to prove it to himself (and everyone else) that it's all your fault.
Have you tried working out at the Y? I felt lifting weights gave me a great amount of relief...it made me feel powerful, mentally and physically. (And they had on premesis day care ) Could be nature's Anti-Depressants...worth a try. I can't see how he would find fault with working out.
Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.
Quote: He just dumped it all out . . . it broke my heart and I kept asking him to stop and he'd just get mad and bitch that I always tell him he can talk to me and then when he tries I won't listen
Hmm, let me see if I understand this....
He has broken every marriage vow he has ever made to you. He knows you love him and want to work on the relationship.
But he can't understand how you aren't able to listen to him go on and on about the person he chose to violate your marriage vows with? And since you ask him not to go on about it, he decides it's YOU who are being mean.
He's not 6 years old right? He's in his twenties? Are you sure about that?
Emily, you are definatly not the right girl for him. Nope. Uh Uh.
He needs a girl with:
No self esteem. No self respect. A girl who is entirely selfish no matter who gets hurt. A girl who will cater to him no matter how stupid he gets. A girl who will leave him as soon as she gets tired of his crap, not stick around and try to fix it.
Sorry Emily, you're not that girl. You seem to have honor and integrity, which is not in his list of requirements for a woman.
I guess you'll have to either wait till he develops some integrity someday or until you meet someone who already has it.
I'm so happy to see you standing taller now. I believe you are going to be all right.
Give this address to the child support enforcement folks. You HAVE given them his SSN, right?....
Schneider National 3101 S/ Packerland Drive Green Bay, WI 54304
That's the corporate office. They'll handle the paper work necessary if he works out of a particular regional office...
I called TWO WEEKS AGO . . and gave them that EXACT address and company info. Along with his new address and phone number.
I called today and she said the problem NOW is that from him jumping around so much they have transfered the case back and forth between county's and now Cumberland County (where he is currently at) is REFUSING the case. So right now we are in total limbo. She said she would try to call again sometime in the next two weeks and see if they had figured anything out. I am sooo freakin angry. He's REALLY doing a good job of "working" the system.
Quote: No self esteem. No self respect. A girl who is entirely selfish no matter who gets hurt. A girl who will cater to him no matter how stupid he gets. A girl who will leave him as soon as she gets tired of his crap, not stick around and try to fix it.
THAT'S CASSIE!!! HOLY CROW . . . I thought you had met her or something . . .
Quote: He's not 6 years old right? He's in his twenties? Are you sure about that?
Sometimes I REALLY wonder.
But you nailed it! I didn't want to hear ALL the nasty details (he EVEN had the nerve to say, "I would show you the tickets from ALL the movies I went to see with her but they are in my wallet.") I wanted to slap him and say, "WTF MAKES YOU THINK I'D WANT THAT."
I kept asking him to please stop talking about her . . . and he just got more and more angry with me. Because I don't absolutely LOVE her and I don't want him to run right out and marry her . . . I'm the bad guy. OH YEAH! That's me . . worse person in the damn world (sarcasm here people don't freak out )
He's crossed my "boundry" line more than once now. He will NOT have another chance. I bet he'll file for the D this week. He has the money order for it and was going to send it in . . . then he decided to "come back" to me again and ripped up the D papers and he was going to give me the money order BUT we never got that far. Oh well . . . I didn't want his money anyway. So since he has it. . . I bet he'll file it this week. Then 3 months from now . . I'll REALLY be a free women.
I tried to call the legal aid place today but they were away from their phones everytime I called. Must be a busy month for lawyers. . . haha.
Nothing new and exciting to report really. I was feeling pretty low . . . I'm just trying to not think about it all and bounce back.
The city/county WHERE THE CHILDREN RESIDE is the correct jurisdiction. NOT where he lives or claims to live. If you have an order and the problem is just the enforcement of that order RAISE HELL until they do it. Do NOT think that anyone is doing the legwork, YOU have to. I know they do not tell you that, though. That's why I am telling you.
So do you hear what I am saying?
CALL THEM EVERY DAY MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. LEAVE VOICEMAILS, LIVE MESSAGES...ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. THAT IS YOUR MISSION. FUNNEL YOUR ANGER TOWARDS THEM. I'M NOT SAYING BE DISRESPECTFUL, JUST BE ANNOYING AS HELL. THE SQUEAKY WHEEL GETS THE GREASE.
BE SO FAR UP THEIR BUTTS THAT THEY SEE YOUR FRIGGIN NAME AND HEAR YOUR VOICE EVERY MOMENT THEY ARE SITTING ON THEIR TAX DOLLAR SUPPORTED ASSES.
They will become quite eager to get you all squared away.
Trust me.
Be kind.
BUT BE FIRM.
THAT MONEY HE IS BLOWING ON CASSIE'S SORRY ASS BELONGS TO YOUR CHILDREN.
Now get a good night's sleep so you can start kickin' butt as soon as the offices open tomorrow morning.
Thanks Amy. They said they had to send it to the County that he is "living" in because they can't send a Tioga County Sheriff to find him in Cumberland County. They have to have Cumberland County sheriff. I don't know why . . . But that's what she said. Since they have to do the whole "locate" thing . ..
The women that told me that is my "case worker". Because when I call in I call into the Tioga Co. domestic relations office . . and then she calls down. They told me not to contact the other one. I suppose tomorrow I could call and ask her for a name and number of someone down there.
I know exactly what you are saying. He is blowing all the money that should go for the diapers I so badly need (and had to borrow from my mother because I don't get more money until the 3rd.) He is going to be paying for HER dog to go to the kennel while they go on the road together. He is going to be paying HER car payment and HER insurance . . . and obviously all her food and personal needs as well . . . as she has quit her job (per his request) to go out in the truck with him. BUT . . he cannot buy Felina or Kiya a pack of diapers or ANYTHING. He looked in my fridge and commented on how empty it was . . I simply said, "Hey I don't eat a lot anyway . . and things are hellish tight right now." He only frowned. But he certainly didn't even offer ten dollars for a pack of diapers when I only had three left the day he was here.
PISSES ME OFF TOO AMY. You tell me what I should do. Should I call my case worker tomorrow and tell her I want and name and number for someone who is in the office where the case is located?
) Could be nature's Anti-Depressants...worth a try. I can't see how he would find fault with working out. 
