I talked to my H briefly . . as the car registration is due today . . and he's giving me that car BUT it's all in his name and he is not reregistering it. But it still has some of his stuff in it so when he eventually comes to get that he'll give me the keys and sign it over to me. Yeah now that it doesn't run again. He's got his fiances car anyway. That's right they are getting married.
Why did he leave me so far behind in the dust?
I am sobbing . . . I don't want to do this. I can't drag my feet anymore though. His mind is made up. She came and got him from my house yesterday and he moved back in with her.
All the feelings swirling in my head. IT hurts. He sounded good. I wish I could be.
I started crying some and I told him, "I hope you have a good life and your happy." Those were my last words to him.
Oh God . . .
He told me he won't give me his number because he doesn't want me calling him all the time and "bugging the f#ck outta him." He said you have other numbers where they can get a hold of me. I said, "Well I'm not calling your grandmother if our daughter had to go to the ER or something was seriously wrong." He basically said tough [censored]. FINE!! A-HOLE!!!
I told him I was sorry . . that I really did try . . and that I was sorry he hated me. He just said, "I don't really hate you."
That's it. I know I shouldn't have talked to him but it was suppose to be about that car. I want that car . . . I just put all that money into it. I feel that I deserve it.
I know it hurts, but take focus off of him and put it on HIM - the Lord above!
I know you needed to know about the car, but do you really think in the end he will be happy? He WILL have to pay you child support until your babies are 18. He will not be happy. What he doesn't understand is that at some point - once a cheater always a cheater. He cheat on you, he will cheat on her too. She got involved with a M man already, what's to stop her from doing it again? You know he did such a good job on his first M - why not do it again right away? You are smart enough to see that this is garbage and your H has lost it. You don't want him in your life right now! The cycle is endless and they will never see it. That is why detaching from that is the best you can do.
I want you to do something. Make your next post a brainstorm list. Just starting typing a list of things you have always wanted to do - no matter how big or small - no matter what area of your life :career, schooling, vacations, activities, etc. Don't qualify anything, just let the ideas flow onto the board. I would like to look at your list...
Give it time, he thinks he is on top of the world right now but when he has to start paying child support and such he will think twice about how his life really is. While he is away he has no responsibilities and thinks that is the life of a king. This OW will get tired of things and she will finally boot him out. Then you can have the last word when he comes crawling back to you. Let him go out and live his life the way he wants. You can't stop him from doing as he wants but you can control your own destiny.
Do you really want someone like him right now? NO. I am not saying he won't think things through and grow up but until he does, you don't need him. Let him spread his wings, sooner or later he will have them clipped.
Quote: I know you needed to know about the car, but do you really think in the end he will be happy? He WILL have to pay you child support until your babies are 18. He will not be happy. What he doesn't understand is that at some point - once a cheater always a cheater. He cheat on you, he will cheat on her too. She got involved with a M man already, what's to stop her from doing it again? You know he did such a good job on his first M - why not do it again right away? You are smart enough to see that this is garbage and your H has lost it. You don't want him in your life right now! The cycle is endless and they will never see it. That is why detaching from that is the best you can do.
I know it! This is the second married man she's been with. She was with a guy that was married when we moved their in October. She dated my H's younger brother for awhile and cheated on him with some other guy.
I guess my cheater H is going to have a cheater wife. His little bro told me that she has been sleeping with other men the whole time they've been together. I don't know. My H will probably end up with a broken heart. Or maybe they are just really each others "soul mates" and they'll just be that happy.
OK Santhony . . The list of things I've always wanted to do is short. I can only think of 1 thing that has never changed. I've always wanted to work with animals (breeder/vet something/anything). I've always wanted to breed reptiles and own a small pet store (or even online breeding service).
I've come up with a small list of things I want to do before I die such as: (these are silly little goals)
Own at least 2 houses (not at the same time . . I want to move at least once) Pimp out a car at least once (I am into cars. I'm talking body kit/paint job/exhaust system/ engine work the whole nine yards) Own a NEW car ONCE (new being within 3 years of age) Get a boob job (maybe I'll get gummy bears Amy) Go to Ozzfest (hopefully when Disturbed is on tour) See Pink in concert Travel across the country at least once. Own a "crotch-rocket" (obviously have a license to drive it) Get more Ink. (I used to say have 3 kids but that seems shot in the ass now . . . ) Own at least 2 APBT's have some puppies. Find a job I actually enjoy and stick to it. (I enjoyed the optometry but I hated working full-time and leaving my kid sooo much. Right now part-time is really the best option for me I think.) Right now I'd like to lose another 15-20 lbs. (I'm working on it) Own enough land to have horse. Take a dance class. Do something that scares the crap outta me (sky-diving or SOMETHING)
I had a few more in my head . . . but now I've lost them . . . I'll have to get back to you on that as they come.
Thanks t2sp . . It's the "What If's" that kill me.
Like:
What if I just wasn't the right one. What if he REALLY does love her more than he ever did me (he would know) What if they REALLY do get the "happily ever after" I was suppose to get with him. What if I spend the rest of my life missing him and he never even thinks of me again.
You have to let go of the "what ifs". You can not worry about that right now. Don't even think of the future. Just live in the present. Forget the past also. You can only live day to day right now. When you go to bed at night you can say you made it through another day.
All you are going to do is drive yourself bananas!!! I know this. I did the same thing. I went through the what ifs and I didn't get any further than you are. I no longer think about that. Of course I want my H to come home but right now my goal is to become really good friends with my H. It is like starting over. If you want anything salvaged from your marriage, you need to let go of the past and work on the present.
Give me some more time to detach and then the what if's will slowly go away. I know I shouldn't think about them.
He was being very ignorant to me on the phone and I said, "So what we can't be friends now?" I just keep thinking that after 9 years of knowing each other we should be able to stay friends. and he said, "I don't know."
I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!! Can you believe that??????? WTF? It's not like I'm asking the man for a kidney.
