Listen to what GH says, because it makes a lot of sense.
Quote: When we say you need to make yourself happy, we are not talking about dating or finding a new man, we are talking about things like continuing your education, finding out if there are hobbies that you like, go to movies with friends, etc. We are talking about getting the most out of life because you are being a GREAT MOM AND A GREAT INDEPENDENT WOMAN.
Okay - this is the lesson that many of our WAS need to learn. Happiness is not something that is gained by buying things, getting into a relationship again, or sex. These are many of the activities many WASs or MLCers do because they think they will improve their happiness. This is not happiness - this is more of gratification or immediate gratification.
What GH is saying (and I have read this in a relationship book as well) is that happiness in your life is achieved through growth. When you grow as a person you become satisfied with this growth and therefore happiness is born. Happiness comes from within. Because of what you have gone through - you are growing. I said it before - you are learning right now what others of the same age may not learn until much later in life. You have a chance to mold yourself into the new Emily you want to be. Work on your growth - in any area you want. With this growth will come happiness. For example, if someone gave you a new car right now (once you get that license! ) it might contribute to your happiness. But continuing your education can lead to a better job where you can make money. Then you go out and make a decision to spend your hard earned money on a new car - one you have always wanted brings so much more personal satisfation. Why? Because you acheived growth in your professional life that led to being to get something you couldn't before - for yourself. This is just a small example and this can occur in all areas of your life.
Define what you want. Start small, start slow. You don't need Dr. Phil's book to follow the life strategies. I listed them out for you and they are self explanatory. The book may be good if you want to dive deeper into how you got where you are. But this is a good list of strategies to follow so you can get where you want to go. Print them out and follow them. Here's a few to focus on:
Life Law #2: You Create Your Own Experience Strategy: Acknowledge and Accept Accountability for Your Life
You create this experience - no one else does.
Life Law #5: Life Rewards Action Strategy: Make Careful Decisions and Then Pull The Trigger
Life Law #10: You Have to Name It Before You Can Claim It Strategy: Get Clear About What you Want and Take Your Turn
Name what you want. If you don't name it how can you go after it?
Don't worry about your H. Worry about you. Put yourself #1 on your priority list. I am not talking about being selfish. But if Emily is not happy, healthy - then your little angels aren't getting the best of you. They deserve the best you have to offer. Of course your little babies have to be considered completely as part of this process - but you can do both just as GH said. You can work on yourself AND be the best mommy your little angels need right now.
If you are having trouble with your inner turmoil then pray. Pray that God grants you inner peace and rest that your mind needs for a new day. I will pray for you Emily.
) it might contribute to your happiness. But continuing your education can lead to a better job where you can make money. Then you go out and make a decision to spend your hard earned money on a new car - one you have always wanted brings so much more personal satisfation. Why? Because you acheived growth in your professional life that led to being to get something you couldn't before - for yourself. This is just a small example and this can occur in all areas of your life.