Well folks . . I've realized that I've been fighting a battle that I cannot win. I've been fighting to keep my marriage together . . I've ben fighting only for my H. He moved on . . . has been for 8 months now. That breaks my heart. I thought I would spend the rest of my life with that man. I really did. Big plans all thrown away . . . crumpled and gone.
NOW . . . I get move on with MY life. It's hard. I don't know exactly what to do with myself. It's hard to start with a clean slate after 4 years with him . . . I feel for those of you married 10/20 + . . .
I have to start to fight the battle for Emily . . I just don't know how. How do I fight for something that I never really had. I never really had my own plans. I mean I guess I must have . . . but I was so young . . that your plans constantly change.
Now . . I feel like I've wasted 4 years that I could have been doing some productive and I wouldn't have two angels hanging in the balance depending on me who could never quite keep it all together any way.
I do NOT want to let them down . . I just don't know where to start.
I mean . . where the heck do I start? One day at time . . .
