EMILY 21

[princess_nic]

Emily,

I understand your concerns, and I shared them at one time. I was extremely depressed and I was in a psychiatric day programme at a local hospital for a month; I had to take a month off work. I was really worried about this and spoke to my L. She said that if he continued to leave the children with me (he did) that he couldn't use it later on in court b/c either:

1 - I am a fit parent; he proved that he thought so by leaving them with me;

OR

2 - He knew I was unfit and left them with me anyway.

Either way, it's lose-lose for him. If you are taking meds and he leaves the kids with you, even if he doesn't know, he is essentially saying that he believes you are a capable mother.

He sounds completely confused right now. I think it might be a good time to just go as dark as you can. You MUST find a way to not call him or text him. How about texting but then not sending it? Or just writing down what you want to say in an email and not sending it? You need to get it out of your system, but he is triggering your negative emotions right now. Just the sound of his voice can set you off. Avoiding talking to and seeing my H for a month really, really turned my life around. I did that in Oct. I sent him one email a week for a couple of months actually, just outlining weekly schedule, never called, only saw him for a minute or so at pick-up/drop-off. The first few days were incredibly hard. I'd been calling every day to cry or yell at him (this was during my depression).

Emily, I know you're a strong person. Just a month ago, you were so much more sure of yourself. You have to get back there. How have things with your mother been since Kiya was born? Are they any better?

Did you ever check out Flylady? I think a routine would really help you here, as it'll keep you busy and you won't have to time to think about Kevin. He's acting very strangely and I really think this would be a good time to stay away from him unless you can be supportive.

Love, Nicola