I haven't posted to you since you moved over here b/c I figured you'd get better advice from others re. the A. However, having read your last thread, I do want to say something to you.
Emily, I've been posting to you since the first day you came here, and I BELIEVE IN YOU. You can have a wonderful life, and I know that you want your girls (and yourself) to be happy.
I agree w/ BJ (as usual) that counselling would be a good idea. I would also STRONGLY suggest that when you go to your doc for your six week post-natal check-up--which should be pretty soon--that you ask about the following things:
1 - She didn't want you on ADs before, but now you could do it, even if you are breastfeeding. Paxil and some others are safe. You are still in the "baby blues" zone, but are heading into the PPD time-frame, so please discuss this with her.
2 - Ask her to give you a full hormone work-up, including thyroid. Doctors seldom do this, but I think it should be automatic after a pg. Thyroid problems are common during pg and after giving birth, and the symptoms of hypothyroidism mimic those of depression. Your other hormones can also go wacko after pg. They should be getting back to normal now, so if they're NOT, it could be a problem in terms of your emotional health. Please, please ask for these blood tests and DO NOT LEAVE HER OFFICE until you have a requisition in hand and another appt to get the results. Do this for you, your Ds...and me!
Love to you, Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
Hey Emily don't you just love Nicola your thread locks up so she makes you a new one
and like she said we have posted with you since day one and WE BOTH BELIEVE IN YOU
Emily non of what is happening to you is the real you when we go through a break up - or loss of any kind - our bodies produce all kinds of chemicals in our brains that alter the way we think and behave add to that all those post baby hormones raging around your body its no wonder you can't cope I understand that getting on here and just letting it all out is good for you - but I know that you need more than any of us on here can give you
sweetie please do as Nicola and I suggest and go talk to someone ask your doctor for help coping with how you feel - get a referral to someone who can help you through this
I can imagine how out of control you feel at the moment - he is doing a really good job of keeping you unbalanced at the moment - coming and going - wanting to fix this then not - that does not help you at all I for one would not want to be in your situation - but please Emily come back read this and get some help will check in here later to see if you got this message and
H was up because he "REALLY" wanted to come back. Spent lastnight to see the girls etc. (Wanted me to go back downstate with him to see family and friends while he finished up his training) This morning he was crying and unhappy . . . said he loved her MORE than he could ever love me and she loved him MORE than I could or have ever loved him. I went out for the day with friends he "broke" into my apartment and took stuff . . . I am squashed once again. That's all . . . nothing else to say.
Quick question. When it comes time to go to court couldn't my H use the AD (if my doc decided they would be a good way to go . . I go on the 7th for my checkup) against me. I don't want to have ANYTHING to give him any leverage because he'll fight dirty. Like yesterday. I told him i wanted my key back (because I was leaving town) and he told me he didn't know where it was "he lost it". So . . I assumed my apartment was safe and . . he "broke" in stole stuff and left the key finally. Well at least now I have the key back . . . but that's REALLY low. He's got a full time job etc . . . running from child support. I barely have diapers on my daughters butt and food in the fridge at the moment BUT he'll gladly sneak in and steal what little belongings I do have. . . LOW! Like stealing from his kids. Don't worry guys I'm looking for a job . . I'm not just going to be a dead beat bitching about my H not supporting me (OK well not forever.) I guess I shouldn't have went out . . . BUT I didn't feel able to just sit around at home and cope with the things that were going on.
I really want to know about the AD thing . . . anyone know?
He told me things yesterday about the affair that I NEVER wanted to know. He was "clearing his head" and I think he didn't think he'd feel as guilty if he just told me.
They started dating about 5 days after he threw me out in December. Officially got together on Jan 1 . . . he moved in with her somewhere around April 20 *just a week after our 3 year wedding anniversary.*
He NEVER used a condom with her. He loves HER so much MORE than he could have EVER loved me. She loves him MORE than I ever loved him <---how he can say that I'll NEVER know)
They went out together EVERY night and did something (something we would never do with me. . . I had to beg to get him to take me ANY where . . so maybe he really does love her more.)
He told me he had a dream the night he was here that he went to kiss me and somehow I became her . . . yatta yatta yatta . . and that must mean that he and I aren't ment to be together etc.
He just dumped it all out . . . it broke my heart and I kept asking him to stop and he'd just get mad and bitch that I always tell him he can talk to me and then when he tries I won't listen
By AD, I'm guessing you mean anti-depressants... seeing a doctor, seeking help, taking medication, is the RESPONSIBLE thing to do if you are suffering.
It's situational, you will get through it. Take care of yourself first and take care of your children. You WILL get through this. And consult an attorney...
Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.
Yes . . Amy and I talked about the attorney a while back . . . I may have to dig back around to find it again. But I am going to call the Domestic Relations people today as well as the legal aid place.
I'm going to also ask my doc if she'll REFER me to someone I could talk to (the last time she stuck me a room with a secretary who had some counsiling training . . . and I was soo uncomfortable . . and the lady just kept saying, I don't . . and this and that . . and she actually made me feel worse ) but . . . I guess we'll see where it goes. I just don't want my H being like, "Sees she's on AD she's a crazy bitch and yatta yatta yatta." He'll say that to everyone else if he finds out anyway. . but I don't want him trying to use it in court or anything.
No Amy I know he doesn't . . . I certainly wouldn't just up and volunteer that info . . . but if he ended up finding out somehow . . I'd really hate to have that happen. I'd rather deal with it by myself than risk losing my girls to him over it that's all.
wanted to come back.
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