Wife coming but still involved with OM

[Spirit_of_Hope]

Thanks, guys. I have been going back and forth about living with this lie for a while now.

When I was trying to find out more info about their relation to confirm my suspicions I learned that my wife had lied about going on an overnight trip with him (suspicion confirmed), was carrying around condoms but doesn't look like she used any (she said she got them from planned parenthood but they just happened to be the same brand, type and lot number of the condoms we kept in our drawer. . . .weird, huh?), noticed that one of the vaginal contraceptives were missing after she "hung out" with OM one night the day before we left for Chicago,. . . . .

Okay. . .enough of that.

I like your idea about going along with her if he came to visit. But I also think that the contact HAS TO STOP if we are going to move forward. I know we have only been away a week but she calls him every night before she goes to bed or he calls her. He even calls her from bars when he is out. . . . .like they are out on a date or something.

Hopefully I find an MC soon because I still feel she is in way to deep with the Denver Dunce (I like that). Any suggestions on how to approach the MC with the OM without being too abrasive or accusatory?? I definitely want to convey the message that I am not an idiot and I know this is more than a friendship, I am willing to forgive and choose to commit to our love, marriage, and family, and that the contact needs to stop in order for this to happen. I hate to give an ultimatum to push her away even further though.

Thanks again for all the advice. It feels good to have this forum to turn to and share and help. I hope we are all out of this situation sooner than later.

TT