The not snooping has to be the hardest part. I understand perfectly how you feel. I started doing it well over a year ago while out of the country when I felt something was wrong, continued to do it last summer by putting spyware on the computer, always sneaking to look at her phone, after she left me....hell, I'm still doing it from where I am now. Don't get me wrong, initially it was probaby a good thing because I needed some of the information. But it took on a life of it's own. It's like driving by a car wreck, you can't help but look, it's an addiction. BUT, what I'm figuring out is that no matter what it only causes more damage because you already know the truth. You're simply confirming something you already know. You're not goint to find an email saying "I Love My Husband so I'm ending it because he's the greatest person in the world". I agree with an earlier poster that it's only going to drive her to more clever means. I even thought about hiring a private investigator when I left but at the end of the day do I also need photos to add to my misery? No, as hard as it is just stop, think of something else when you get the urge, say the Serenity Prayer, anything. Like I said, I too struggle mightily with this and I slip periodically. Good luck.
