My wife and I have been separated for four months. I relocated to Chicago from Denver and the plan was for my wife to come one month after I left.

Once I was in Chicago she said that she was happy without me and didn't want to move. After going through all of the typical crying, begging, etc I bought Michelles books. I put the practices to work and they seemed to make an impact.

My wife agreed to move to Chicago with our twins (S2,S2).

When I arrived to Denver to help her move she told me that she believes that her heart was taken by a man who had befriended her since I left. Since then I slipped back to the crying, pleading, ect until I was able to get a hold of myself.

She told me that she was just physically attracted to him and that he doesn't know that she feels this way. I later found correspondence to him indicating her feelings were much more and that he was well aware of them too.

I asked her if she really wanted to work on our marriage would she consider cutting off contact with the OM. She said that she would not because they are too good of friends.

I am really trying to remain positive and not let on how badly that I am hurt. And, of course, if I tell her that I know that she was less than honest about the extent of their relationship, I fear that she will go ballistic that I was snooping.

Where do I draw the line between self-respect and saving my marriage and family?? Is there a line?

I am committed to my marriage so I guess I have just answered my own question.

My wife said that she LMBINILWM and for the marriage to work she will have to fall in love again. She said she doesn't know if she will be able to do this and that we should go to a marriage counselor.

I feel that I am getting lots of mixed signals from her.
--Is moving to Chicago.
--Wont cut ties or be honest about OM
--Wants to goto MC

Any advice?? I am a mess.

Thanks,
Tony

M 34 H 34 Together 8 yrs Married 7 yrs Son 2 1/2 Son 2 1/2 SD 12