Hey PL, Sorry it's been a few days since I last visited, the weekends are hard for me to stay at home so I'm out more than in.
Quote: Your thoughts on this, the delicate balance between self-care and spending/squandering $$ would be appreciated.
You are doing all the stuff I did early in my sitch. All I can say is it will get better. And by better, I don't mean a break up, I mean you will find your peace within yourself and with your sitch where you can continue your stand AND have a life w/o H (for the time being). You will discover that you will make it, either w/H or w/o H.
We too have spent a ton of money: H on ow and me on my PMA activities. Just recently H has asked me to help him take care of 'our' money, to watch what we spend and to help reduce some of our spending. I don't see that as controling, I see that as concern for our future. (yes, I hope it is together). All I'm saying is to be wise in what you do. He can't justify what he is doing right now anymore than you can. In the end, what does it matter? The past is the past, let it go and work on your long term goal, saving your M.
As to you moving out because of memories. IMO, I wouldn't do it. Your home is a safe, comfortable place that your H will see as a haven, one where he had happy memories too. Yes, it may be hard for you to be there w/o him but that too will get easier in time.
As far as seeing a L, I have mixed emotions about that. I have not, cos I feel that it would be a death knoll on my M. You can get legal advice w/o hiring a L.
All I'm saying is give it some time and give H his space. Mine has asked for this and other things in a round about way and it has taken me a bit of time to finally 'hear' him. I hope you have a great day today! {{{hugs}}} Sooner
When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.
