Positively 3rd thread - how do you deal with this?

[RBinBR]

I owned the house before H, and my D and my foster D spent all of their JR high and high school years here, and everyone loves this house.

Fair enough. I didn't have your life's timeline down right, lol.

As far as the lawyer thing goes, I got a lot of peace of mind by understanding what my options were. It was good for me to learn about the collaborative process, and it was good for me to learn that we could have everything split through a legal separation that would protect me financially while preserving the marriage.

But a D is just not what I want in my heart. And, funny me, I really do believe deep deep in my heart and soul and spirit that H will find his way home. I would much prefer a happy ending. Sorry to say, I do not see the disolution of the M as a happy ending for my future. I hope and pray that we do not go there.

I don't want to go there in my sitch either, PL, but I'm not planning for my W to do something that I have no control over. I've decided that I will be happy and have a great future no matter what. You've decided to attach your future happiness to your M, which I think keeps you from detaching and dramatically increases the pressure on the R. Trust me when I tell you that your H can sense this and feels that pressure, even if you don't articulate it. Don't let your happiness be dependent on your H or anyone else.